Christmas Grace
Natalie Grace was born blue.
I didn't know yet what was to come as I drove three hours to the hospital that morning. My youngest daughter had called at 5:00 a.m. to say she was in labor, and I jumped in my car - already packed, since I'd cleared my calendar for the month she was due. Fortunately for me, Natalie was intent on taking her time, so I made it with hours to spare.
At 7:30 that evening, she finally made her appearance. I was surprised at her color, which seemed too purple. Natalie needed oxygen immediately. We only had time to blow her a kiss as the nurse whisked her away to the NICU.
It's amazing what suddenly becomes important. The only thing she was allowed to wear was a diaper; all the cute, soft, pink clothes remained packed away. The bed in which she was laid in NICU was kept at a constant temperature. There was a breathing tube in her nose, an IV in her abdomen, a pulse monitor on her heart, another IV in her ankle to administer antibiotics if the problem was pneumonia; tubes and wires connected all over that tiny, helpless body. With Natalie tethered to the bed, we were only allowed to hold her hand or caress her free bare foot. Except we could hold her when she was being nursed and burped. (That baby "needed" a lot of burping on Gramma Ruthie's shoulder!)
Natalie remained in NICU for six days, until her little body learned how to process oxygen on its own. I was obligated to conduct a Choral Festival, which meant leaving my daughter and granddaughter in the hospital to catch a plane. Walking out of that hospital was one of the most difficult things I've ever done - in fact, I couldn't do it. I turned around and went back to the NICU to see Natalie one more time.
As I looked down and reached to touch her hand, she wrapped it tightly around my finger. I thought of Mary holding the hand of her own Newborn - the hand that created the Earth and formed the spheres in the skies. And it suddenly occurred to me: God became a helpless Infant too. God laid aside His power and His glory to dwell among us, to become one of us. And in that moment I realized the true miracle of Jesus' birth.
We often reflect on the grace Jesus showed in His willingness to suffer and die for us as an adult. But what struck me on that day was the grace it took for Him to be born for us; the grace to be weak, and submit to being taught; the grace to suffer as we do - hunger, pain, loss. The author of all language having only a feeble cry to express those most basic human needs: I'm hungry, please feed me; I'm dirty, please clean me; I'm uncomfortable, and I can't even express it - please help me. The One who designed the human form became a helpless human Infant for us. Almighty God, in diapers. This is Christmas Grace!
At the Festival, I told the story of Natalie's birth, and a friend mentioned that her name, Natalie Grace, really meant "Nativity Grace" or "Christmas Grace." And I thought, what a gift from God! That is exactly what Natalie's birth has taught me.
Today, Natalie is a beautiful, brilliant, talented young woman. You would never know what a rough start she had in life! And every time I conduct this piece or hear a choir singing it, I'm transported back to that NICU, seeing her helplessness, feeling her tiny fingers wrap around mine, and marveling at the amazing grace it took for Heaven's King to become small enough to need us.
The incredibly talented Mary McDonald, then my editor at Monarch Music, played the piano part on this recording. She was one of the first editors to accept an orchestration from me, and I was so blessed that she published this special song. Listen for her beautiful embellishments in the accompaniment and the hints of "Amazing Grace" at the end.
This is the SAB / Two-part Mixed version, also available SATB.